Funny Stories About Being Hit On By The Dutch

Traveling alone as a female means that, whether you like it or not, you get a lot of attention.

Any girl will attest that unwanted attention from men is at best, annoying, and at worst, infuriating. However, I was fascinated by how men from different cultures approach women and turned my experiences into a social experiment.

And so my “Funny Stories About Being Hit On By Europeans – Arranged By Country” series was born.

*Please note that this is a meant to be a silly, tongue-in-cheek article about candid observations I made during a solo trot across Europe and not meant to be of any offense to anyone. Also note that, as with all sociological studies, generalizations are made.

The Dutch

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I’m a little biased towards Dutchmen, but in a nutshell, they are tall, reserved, and extremely good-looking. Oh I’ll just say it. Dutchmen are sexy.

I have a considerable number of female Canadian friends who completely agree with me.

They also don’t hit on you. Or take a hint for that matter.

As far as I can tell, the Dutch have gender equality more figured out than us less-civilized Canadians do. A woman can approach a man at a Dutch bar and buy him a drink without being considered desperate. Both genders can make the first move, resulting in a lot less harassment from the Dutch than say, the Latinos, or, heaven forbid, the Italians.

Come to think of it, I was not harassed once in the month-and-a-half I spent in the Netherlands.

So, if there’s one thing I learned, it’s that equality makes for some very fine gentlemen. Examples below.

The Dutchman who basically asked, “may I have this dance?”

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A symbol of Dutch national pride, never to be mistaken for German.

One night, I was at a club in Amsterdam when a Dutchman came up to me and asked me if he could dance with me. I was shocked.

I had just arrived in Europe at that point and hadn’t yet experienced how forward men from some cultures can be, but it was nevertheless a welcome change from having to deal with drunk Canadians back home.

This Dutchman was so polite that I felt bad for turning him down.

AND! He took my no and a literal no! He simply wished me a good night and carried on with his life elsewhere.

The Dutchman who wouldn’t take a hint

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View of downtown Amsterdam from aforementioned Dutchman’s appartement.

I mentioned above that I’m a little biased towards Dutchmen. This is because I spent a month in the Netherlands during my 2015 Euro trip and within a week of being there snagged myself a particularly fine Dutch male specimen.

He’s the assertive, managerial, corporate type who was once a frat boy and has probably had girls falling all over him as long as he’s been alive. And did I mention he was fine?

I spent a late October Sunday afternoon with him, during which I never saw a food bill (because he covertly paid for everything when I wasn’t looking). And here I was expecting the “Go Dutch” terminology to apply.

Anyway, I ended up at his swanky and immaculately clean downtown Amsterdam appartement telling him stories about my travels through Europe.

When I reached the part about my accidental date with a Turkish tour guide and how I was put-off when he paid for my ticket to the observatory deck on tallest building in Istanbul, my Dutchman said, “Oh, I’m sorry if I offended you by paying for you today.”

…’offended’?

So you’re telling me that this fine, assertive, managerial, corporate, former-frat-boy-of-a-Dutchman was apologizing to me—a younger, tiny (by comparison), awkward sprite of a foreign girl who had stumbled across his bike path in Amsterdam—because he thought he might have offended’ me by paying for my food?

Then, after that, rather, after 12 hours of all of the above, he finally finally decided to make a move.

“I wasn’t sure if it was okay to kiss you,” he said.

Really?

Really?

Wasn’t sure?

I had hung around for 12 hours, half of which were one-on-one in his appartement where we were drinking all of the fine alcohols he had stored in his attic, taking turns playing our favorite songs, and teaching each other funny things about our respective cultures.

Sure, I’m personally no good at making googly eyes but he was also painfully slow at taking a hint.

The Dutchman my Canadian friend met in Vancouver

Dutch ship in the Port of Vancouver.

Dutch ship in the Port of Vancouver.

After my return home to Vancouver, all of my friends heard endless stories about how great Dutchmen are.

One day, one of them messaged me and said, “I met a Dutch guy! He’s visiting from Amsterdam! I’ll let you know how it goes.”

Later that evening, I received a string of texts that read something like this:

“OMG.

“OMG.

“I now completely understand why you like Dutch guys so much.

“He was such a gentleman!

“I have never been treated so well and with such respect in my life!

“OMGGG!!”

She would go on to periodically rave about “the Dutch experience,” to the extraordinary amusement of my female Dutch acquaintances.

The Dutchman my other Canadian friend met in Toronto

I was chatting with a friend at a party in Vancouver several weeks after I had returned from my 2015 Euro trip when I mentioned the above Dutchman Who Wouldn’t Take A Hint.

“Oh, you too?” he said, surprised. “I met up with our mutual friend in Taipei two months ago and she has a story about a Dutchman as well!”

When I went home that night, I messaged said mutual friend, who replied:

“The Dutch!

“OMG the Dutch!

“God bless the Dutch!”

She had crossed paths with a Dutchman on vacation in Toronto earlier in the year and went on a trip with him to the Netherlands.

She then went on a rant about how:

  • Respectful Dutchmen are
  • Strong women do not intimidate them
  • They are all about equality but still gentlemen
  • Openly “liberal” they are

I haven’t yet made it to Scandinavia to do a comparative study but if the Netherlands is an example of how men behave in more egalitarian countries, I’m liking the way the world is headed. Men of the world, please take some notes from the Dutch.

Dank je wel.